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Saturday, June 18, 2011

Broken Heart

"Yes, life can break your heart . . . but it can also break your heart open."


This is a quote from Seane Corn when she taught a Yoga for Broken Heart class at the Midwest Yoga Conference this past May. This was a very tough class for a lot of people. People suffering from the loss of a loved one, divorce, break up, cancer diagnosis, etc. Most everyone cried at one point in time, myself included. 


Why did I take this class? Because I am suffering from a broken heart. Because I risked everything for someone who wasn't willing to risk anything for me. Because I fell in love with someone I never intended or even wanted to fall in love with. Because I went out on a limb and told someone I loved them knowing that I would not hear it back. 


I opened my heart and let myself be vulnerable. So I got my heart broken and he left for the summer. It was pretty awful for a few days. But then I decided I just needed to live my life. And really LIVE my life. 


Then came the Midwest Yoga Conference and I could not have had a better experience. I fell in "love" with Dave Romanelli and had the time of my life. I learned to really accept and love myself and more importantly, I learned to live the life I love and love the life I live. 


I have to say Seane Corn's advice could not have been better timed. Yes, life can and surely will break your heart at times, but why not let it also break your heart open. Open to new possibilities, open to the idea of loving despite the heartbreak. 


To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind and confidence in the future. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. 


To that person: I hope that this does not offend you, it was not meant to in any way. This is me putting my story out there and telling you that it's time for me to let you go because I finally realize that your happiness is what matters most, and that your happiness may not be with me. So I'm totally head over heels in love with you, I can't explain it, but I am. I have no regrets about any of this. It was a learning experience that has helped me grow in so many ways. Thank you for being such a big part of my life for the past year. 

2 comments:

  1. Amy, that was so brave to put out there. I am sure every one of us has had a similar experience - wanting something so badly we let people treat us worse than we deserve to be treated in order to have it in our lives. One thing struck me: "I finally realize that your happiness is what matters most". NO! Amy, YOUR happiness is what matters most. I promise you there will be a guy out there who will chase after you instead of you chasing after him. I promise you there is someone out there who will see your true worth and treat you like you are the most valuable thing in their life. I was losing hope myself, after 32 years of being the chaser. Then I found my amazing boyfriend who treated me differently than I had ever known. Even if we break up tomorrow, I have now seen what a healthy relationship is. How I deserve to be treated. If you compromise on something as important as your self-worth, on letting someone treat you like you're second choice, you will never know the pure bliss that comes with finding the right person. I know you are in such a hurry to get married and have kids and stay on your "schedule". But would you rather meet your deadlines in a forced relationship that is lacking something, or be lonely a bit longer knowing with every fiber of your being the most amazing relationship you ever had will eventually find you?

    Jenn

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  2. Jenn totally has it right, except I would say that the forced relationship would probably lack A LOT OF THINGS! Sounds a lot like what I said, wait for the right guy..I waited 27 yrs and it is soooo well worth it. I couldn't be happier in my life and my relationship. This was incredibly brave of you to put out there Amy. I'm also glad you went to your retreat & didn't diminish yourself & your problems in comparison to the other serious problems. Because while losing a loved one or fighting cancer is VERY Serious and incredibly hard, having your heart broken is a loss too! And without proper healing can lead to relationship issues in the future. As humans, we tend to pragmatically asses whats worth our tears and grief, but if it bothers you...its worth the time to recover, not just tell yourself to "move on." Love you Amy!

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