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Sunday, May 20, 2012

An Honest Confession

I spent a year as your backup, your second choice, the girl that you settled for because you couldn't have the one you really wanted. And the entire time all I thought, "I'm not good enough." But it all reality, it was just that you were simply not good enough for me. 

I am so so sorry that she broke your heart, especially since you spend 8 months with me while really just chasing after her. I'm sure that you had 8 wonderful months with her and it was everything that you ever dreamed of, so I am truly sorry that you got your heart broken this time. 

But here's my confession: while I have an incredibly compassionate heart and feel for your heartbreak, it's really sickening to watch you continue to chase after something that clearly doesn't want you. You're chasing her like a lost little puppy dog, like I used to chase you. Is she really worth it? If you can answer that question honestly without any bias and the answer is "yes", then continue chasing. But if there's the slight chance that there's someone else out there who might love you more and appreciate you more and won't make you chase and won't get bored with you after 8 months, then it's time to let go of her and see what else is out there. I shouldn't be passing judgment, so we will call this an "observation". And as someone who is your friend, this is what I see. 

Now don't get me wrong, yes I fell in love with you (looking back now, it was really some type of fucked up kind of falling in love with you) and I'm definitely NOT saying that I'm the better version of her, because I'm not. I'm not any better or any worse than she is. Actually, if you ever did decide to come running back to me, I could never be with you. Not after her. Yeah, you might treat me well, but you would never really treat me as well as I deserve to be treated. And when I met you, I had no standards, no offense. Thanks to a very special someone, my standards are now higher than ever, and to be blunt, you just don't meet those standards. But I think that there is someone out there who will love you more, treat you better, and want to be with you more, and who will actually deserve you. 

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